Coming Soon, I promise!!

I know, this isn't it, but this is proof that I've been doing something creative while on holidays. I got this tired looking portrait of my DH last night while he was watching TV. I haven't had the light to paint at night since I've been here, and that is usually the only time that I have to paint...AFTER THE KIDS ARE IN BED!! That's my time, when my muse can come out and work uninterrupted. It's amazing how much one can accomplish in those few hours before sleep comes knocking. So, I bought a clip-on light today with a full-spectrum bulb, so I'll be able to paint in the evenings. BUT...My painting's almost finished! I have been working, really. A few more days, I hope, and it should be done. It is a big one, 18"x 24", no more of these 6 x 8's for me, I'm going big! I felt the need to breathe, stretch out that painting arm. That said, this one is sure presenting me with some problems...Have you ever started out, and the underpainting turns out amazing, and the first layer looks amazing, then one part looks really amazing, and then all of a sudden, the whole thing looks like crap!?!!???!@#$%^&*()_!!! I can't believe it, the first few days I'm like "Wow honey, this is going to be the best painting I've ever done," and now I can't even stand to look at it!
Well, I bought "a BOOK" today, and it's going to get me out of my rut, I know it!(fingers crossed behind my back) Is it that I put too much pressure on myself? Did it become all TOO Important?
All of the above... and, I met Jia Lu the other day, maybe that is what it was. She is an absolutely incredible, internationally acclaimed artist whose paintings sell for like, $120,000. She is so sweet, and unassuming, but I almost cried when I met her, I felt so inadequate. It made me question my abilities, my art, my purpose as an artist...all of those things. I was depressed for about four days after, and my husband said I should stop trying to put pressure on myself to paint while we were on holidays. It was affecting him and the kids, and well, me. But it was good, because last night I had an epiphany, an AH HAH moment. I realized what it was that was bugging me about the whole thing. I hadn't been totally sure before what my purpose as an artist was. Being a mom of two small children, with very little time to paint, I spend my few hours before I drop off from exhaustion, doggedly painting from whatever good photographs my crappy little digital puts out that half-ass inspire me, or, I ask photographers who are much better than me for permission to use their work. I realized last night, that the problem with this, is even though for the most part, I paint from my own photography, that these photographs lack intention. I mean, I take the picture because I see something that is paintable, but there is no conscious thought, no planning, no intention other than to create a pretty picture. So, that the painting produced from such a photograph, is just a reproduction of something pretty, with no thought behind it, even if I tweak it and omit busy things, etc...
What touches me about Jia Lu's work is the creativity, the thought process behind the painting, etc...I hope I don't sound like an insane lunatic, it's just that I think I've finally GOT IT! I need something more.
So I decided that I will get models, and set up scenes, and if I have to "photograph" them because of the time restrictions of being a parent, I will, after doing some value and color sketches. Or if I see a scene that screams out to be painted, I will ask people for permission to take their pictures. (Oh yeah, that's another thing. I am a people painter. That is my passion. That is what touches me.) I've tried to paint for ebay, or what the market demands, or on commission, but the artist inside of me rebels, and I end up getting stuck and blocked.
So to all of you artists out there, IF YOU WANT TO BE A HAPPY ARTIST, BE AUTHENTIC!!
( Not that I would pass up a thousand dollar commission if it came my way! LOL!

New Painting in the Works, Finally!

So here it is, the sketch I promised...I'm not getting near as much painting done as I had hoped. I'm going to have to get more disciplined, I guess. There's just so much other fun stuff to do and sights to see in Hawaii. I'm taking lots of pictures for future paintings, and visiting as many art galleries as time will allow.
This has all thrown the kids for a total loop. My once almost weaned daughter is now up every two hours a night to nurse. If I don't nurse her, she won't sleep sound, so that every time I so much as sigh, she wakes up screaming, demanding "Sa Sa", (the Nuxalk word for nurse). So I'm back to total, ridiculous exhaustion. I even checked out the SuperNanny site last night to see if she had any words of wisdom that I hadn't already exhausted. Not so. Nothing works. So I give in.
My usually sweet-natured son has become a whining, demanding troll. He complains all day, and makes his sister mad or hurts her on purpose. We're in Paradise, but the kids just know that their world has been turned upside down.
Well, if I could get them back on schedule somehow, things might start to settle a bit.
For now, I'm keeping my fingers crossed, and just hoping for time to paint.
I got the underpainting done today, and it's a big one-18" x 24". It's going to be fun. I'll keep you posted.
Ciao for now.

ALOHA!! from Maui

I still haven't painted anything new...I'm embarrassed. But, I did finish my commission (and I forgot to photograph it before I sent it off), and it has been so busy since Christmas...excuses, excuses. AND...I'm in Maui! It is so beautiful here, so inspiring, so amazing. I feel like I've come home. This is where I'm supposed to be. There is so much art here. So many artists, so many galleries, so much opportunity, and I did finish the sketch for the painting I'm planning next. If I can figure out how to install the scanner here, I will upload it tomorrow for your viewing pleasure. Anyways, aloha and mahalo from paradise.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays!!

Well, more excuses...My "almost daily painting blog" is becoming my "almost monthly painting blog"! Again, I do apologize. Our high speed is still not up, therefore, I can't upload any quality images (way... too... slow) OMG! But to be completely honest, I haven't got anything new to show as of yet. I hope to get back on the bandwagon after Christmas. My commission is minutes away from being finished, which will free up my precious moments for other pursuits.
I got my early Christmas present today...Yah RIGHT!! 3 wisdom teeth pulled in one day. "On the first day of christmas my true love gave to me...1 top right molar, and a partridge in a pear tree..." Percoset is great, though. I've never been "put under" before either. Never done drugs, never smoked, etc...yah, the typical, unpopular goody goody. I hope to be past the unpopular stage and maybe just be called a granola head or something, but, anyways.

Being put under is pretty cool. The attendants are talking away, chatting about which prescriptions to take and then I'm looking at the ceiling, and it's kind of undulating, like waves on a beach. It finally comes into focus and there's my husband. "Hey honey, we can go now."
I'm like, "Wild...don't I have to get some teeth pulled?"
He says "No, you're done," and then I realize that my face feels like one solid piece of ice from my eyes down. Otherwise, I feel fine. I wish labor was like that! Oh, your having a baby?...Here it is darling...you're all done!
Well, I hope everyone out there is having a wonderful holiday season. I know I will. We're heading to Maui in a couple of weeks. We'll have high speed there, and also plenty of inspiration, and time to paint. So you'll be hearing much more of me in the New Year.
Uh oh, the percoset kicking in. I'd better go to bed before I start writing more gibberish.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! HO, HO, HO!

AAAHHHRRRGGG!!!

I can't believe it's already been three weeks since my last post. Almost Daily Painting Blog is a little inaccurate at the moment. I must apologize. My brain is having a difficult time reacting to the actual passing of time. I'll think, "Oh yeah, I have to do that this week." But, it was actually last week I was supposed to do it, and I just haven't caught up yet, do you catch my drift? It's not that my life is crazy busy or anything. It's just the normal stay at home mom, self-employed, wife and housekeeper thing..writing a book, doing school work, looking after children and husband, trying to keep the house clean and family fed, and oh yeah, paint! Maybe I've just faltered in the time management area...or is it the fact that basically since the time change, I'm back to living on four hours of sleep a night? (Whoever invented that wonderful thing didn't have kids! Mine are still convinced that 4 a.m. is 5, etc...) Whatever it is, production has drastically been reduced, it's down to just plain old surviving. Said assignment that was due is now very overdue, I had to call in for an extension...said commission is...well...it's started. I have been painting this week, trying to get it done, and right now it's at that stage, that awful, horrible, stage where I want to throw it out the window and start over! I worked for over an hour tonight, and it just seemed to make it worse and worse. Every brush-stroke created mud, and it felt like I had completely forgotten how to paint. I was doing things backwards, like working on little details first! I mean, come on Tahirih, I learned that stuff back in high school, and here I am, my little 01 paintbrush, painting a corsage before the jacket was even blocked in. Well, needless to say, I gave up in disgust.
What is it about a commission that makes it so difficult? Is it performance anxiety? I can whip off a painting for myself in about 4 hours some nights, and it turns out beautifully. As soon as it's for someone who is paying me, it takes me longer than that to convince my ass into the studio. Then, I start painting corsages right of the bat, and forget what happens when you mix blue and yellow! Help!
Sorry no picture to post tonight, either. My high speed is down, and I'm suffering with very slow dial-up. It took me ten minutes just to log in to blogger.
Well, I certainly hope I have something to show you soon.
Goodnight all.

Hey Horsey!

I was absolutely horse CRAZY as a kid! I drew horse after horse after horse, I talked about horses, dreamed about horses, and finally, when I was twelve, my parents got me my very own horse. But, I think I must have got sick of drawing horses, because this is the first horse I have painted in about 15 years! I made it look just like mine, Miss Peeti Poco. I miss her. She died when I was 27, and coincidentally, she was 27. Our birthdays were only a week apart. I really enjoyed painting this little thing. I may have to give horses another go! This is another ACEO for ebay. The detail is difficult, though, so it's quite hard to make it look polished, and the picture doesn't do it justice. 2.5" x 3.5" is so small!
Well, I have a portrait commission that I have to start work on tomorrow, as well as an assignment almost due for my writing course, so I don't know when I'll next be able to post. Maybe if the weather is good enough for pictures, I'll post some in progress ones of the commission. So, ciao for now.

Crazy ACEO's Craze

So, I decided to try a few ACEO's, I believe it stands forArt Card Edition Collectables. My mistaken assumption was that I could whip them off fairly quickly, thereby afford to sell them for much less on ebay. Well...let's just say, that I could have finished three 6"x8" paintings in the time it took to do four of these little suckers, and the fourth is not fit to show you! It's hard to get convincing detail into a 2.5" x 3.5" little square!
My brain feels like it's going to explode!!! The good thing was, that I could work on them at the kitchen table with the kids running around, I didn't have to hide in my studio.
My poor baby girl is sick right now, though! ArRrGghhh!!! What I wouldn't give for daycare sometimes. Not when they're sick, I mean, but on other days, so I could get something done.
Any other artists out there have any experience with ACEO's?
Are they worth the time and effort? I want to paint big!! Really big, actually. My arm is starting to cramp and pretty soon I'll need reading glasses, or to paint under a magnifying glass!